expatdiaries /

Ninja traveller. Seamlessly travels between Stockholm, Shanghai, Zurich and France. Late nights in the city and early morning countryside life. Fashion, beauty, reflections, portraits and inspiration.

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I'm on a train. Maybe it's a bus. It's driving towards the airport and people around me are upset. I begin to realise that no one will be flying anywhere today. There's a traffic jam and our expected arrival at the airport is in no less than seven hours. I feel a mild panic rising on the inside but I'm not sure why. Where am I going?

All of a sudden I'm there. I'm not sure exactly where I am, if it's a departure hall or a terminal of some sort. I've never been here before.

Dazed by confusion I look around and to my shocking surprise I see Mom. She can't see me. She is walking with decisive steps towards another terminal. Her hair is made up in a blond ponytail. A hair curl is fixed just behind her ear and I think she is wearing a white and red blouse and those jeans she always used to wear. She is well and healthy. She looks just like she did before she got sick.  I call out her name but she can't hear me.

I find my self running towards her, and in the blink of an eye, she turns around and sees me. Shocked. Can't say a word. Her entire body starts to shake. I understand I shouldn't be here. Not yet.

She hugs me like I've never been hugged before and she won't let go. I instantly feel how missed I am and how much this hurts. She says nothing, but I can hear her thoughts. A more powerful reunion would be impossible in any world.

I know I have to leave. I'm at the wrong place and I shouldn't be here. I feel and endless amount of love inside before I wake up.

Where are you? Where were you going? Were you perhaps off to visit Madeleine? I'm sure you were. I miss you. I miss you both. I don't know how I managed to get all the way there but I just had to come see you. We see each other later. Then I promise I'll tell you everything.


Love, Christine Deckert


There’s nothing to see here.



There’s nothing to see here.